Men Cancel Birth Control…

WASHINGTON – According to ARR News, Senate Republicans have blocked legislation to protect women’s access to contraception. The pro-contraception bill was pushed by Democrats to put Republicans on the record on where they stand with the rights to reproductive control over women’s bodies. Though GOP senators argue that the bill was just a political stunt, the political action group WITHHOLD SEX NOW that has been funding offices in all 50 states, proposes that sex should be withheld from men until contraception is voted the law of the land.

To the surprise of both parties, the WITHOLD SEX NOW organization has received overwhelming support across the political spectrum.

“What we at the WSN are proposing is that until men regain their senses in granting women control over their own bodies, that women hood shall ignore the one “sense” that misogynists really care about,” said Liz Trayta, WSN director.
This effort has gathered the attention of the Gay Liberation Front, and the Gay Rights National Lobby, and the National Organization for Women. Currently five Protestant Religions are being approached for support. Sane Celibacy Advocate, has donated $200.000 to the cause.

A high-ranking member of the Senate spoke off the record: “Now let’s not be too hasty. This is not the time to discuss this subject when there are more important issues at hand. As for the bill itself, it is nothing more than a messaging attempt and is not serious at all. Give up sex? Really!”

“Men have been too generous with women,” said the Speaker of the House who keeps a pact with his son to measure their porn intake. “We have allowed women too much freedom.”

“All we need is a national strike that lasts three months,” said Liz Trata. “Men are fooling themselves to think THEY are Masters of their domain.” as mentioned in the TV Show Seinfeld. “After all, it’s not like there are not alternatives out there. Men are not the only came in town.”

Aristophanes Smith, lawyer and chief negotiator for WITHHOLD SEX NOW tried to enter into negotiations with the Senate Committee, but was told that talks would not commence until Friday’s showing of Temptation Island on Fox.

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